Utvalgt av Sturla Sandlie

OPINION.....

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots
wore helmets. Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full
effect of alphabet soup? I always wanted to be somebody, but
I should have been more specific.

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets
mad at you?

But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the
window.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an
idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking
five miles a day when she was 60. She is 97 today and we
don't know where she is.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they
would not be caught dead in otherwise.

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without
arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I
lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody
stands there picking the locks, they are always locking
three.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then
it's you.

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede
jacket.

"You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered.

I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were
any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

Future historians will be able to study at the Gerald Ford
Library; the Jimmy Carter Library; the Ronald Reagan
Library and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
 
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Uoversettelige desember 2002